Sadness

Fuck promises. I just want to get rid of this. Get rid of everything. But I don't want to hurt him, no, I don't want to hurt anyone. But is that enough? Is that fair? Is that worth staying in this hell? I'm so fucking tired.
What can I say when he says he wants a future with me? When I dont want any future at all.

I'm trying.. But in fact I may be just letting go.

Da rienda suelta a lo que sientes.. Si no lo haces, mala suerte; Porque al final, si no lo ves, puede que no me escuches pero lo diré...

And I don't wanna fall to pieces, I just wanna sit and stare at you.

Wanna know how you feel,

Wanna know what is real.

I wanna know everything, everything!

Pelo rosa ♥

Shit Happens

But you don't let it just happen. It still happens everytime you remeber, on purpose or not. 
I don't believe in change. Things do not change. It still hurts.
I would like to let things go but it's not as simple as it sounds.
I wonder about many things. I wonder why, I wonder how.. I don't understand, it upsets me and scares me.



Like why would you do that? Why would you act like shit to me, only to me? Why, just for over a month and half? I can't pretend it didn't happen. You said I was your best friend. You said you cared about me. I really don't want to think you are a liar and I don't, but that doesn't make sense at all. 
So what the hell I'm supossed to think? I can't let go. It hurt like hell back then and it still hurts pretty awful.
I don't get why. That tortures me. And you just wont explain. Fuck! Why don't you just fucking say it? Uh? Why did you hate me so fucking much?
You said you cared about me more than anyone else. I guess I conviced myself that you just didn't care about anybody much. That was the nicest explanation I could find.
But now, it seems that you actually do care about some bitches people.
Why, why on earth do you worry SO fucking much about her? When she doesn't even speak to you! God, she didn't talk to you for such a long time, just because bitching. Why do care like that, why do feel you owe her that?

Why?

You act like you don't know why. Or is it you don't want to admit it? Is that.. You like her that much?

Whatever.

I'll pretend I'm not dying inside with that thought. I can pretend I dont care, cant I?

But so, I know, it's just me. Me alone. I know it. It hurts.

Let's just don't believe in anything. And I don't hear your words. You don't know how fucking horrible can  words hurt later, later when you realize they are meaningless. You don't know how bad it hurt realizing how you gave a fuck about me. I know why it hurt so much. It was because you said you actually cared and I fucking believed. So, how unexpected was to feel betrayed. I was just... So hopeless, so heartbroken and self-destructive, and you knew, you knew it all didnt you? But you still not cared. Despite you said you did.. Why should it be true, this time? Just because we're fucking? No, I'm sorry. You got tired of me... Why couldn't it happen again? It's really nice how you say forever. It feels really cute now, and I don't think you are lying to me so I guess you really think it right now. But I don't know if you will think that forever...

Effy

Be

Trank

Segun Beck usted padece de riesgo para conductas auto agresivas y predice en un 93,8 % el riesgo suicida.

Gracias Beck no lo había notado.

Everything is in order - I don't like poeple and people don't like me

Me estoy dando cuenta que me resulta muy dificil, màs que de costumbre, hablar con gente. Con gente con la que ya tengo toda la confianza bien, pero con amigos hasta ahí, nada. En general no quiero hablarle nadie ni saber de nada de ver a mucha gente..

Vodka Rain

Slowly breaking through a daylight

Estar acostada en la oscuridad sin nada que hacer más que escuchar mis pensamientos es obviamente perjudicial. Es difícil contener las lágrimas. Acá veo el amanecer y eso está un poquitín mejor. No se qué hacer. No se qué hacer conmigo. Necesito calmarme.. Escribir no esta ayudando...

Stay with me forever
Or you could stay with me for now

Hold my heart to stop me bleeding now, now, now, and I'll never let you down

Nocivo

Que esa ropa me queda mal, que tengo que planchar mi pelo, que por qué no me tapo más con maquillaje, que no es cierto siempre que la gente me dice 'hermosa' y que no lo crea, que estoy mal vestida, etc.... No te das cuenta de que esos no son consejos?