I always feel so weak

I like to think that people believe that I'm strong. Beause if they don't they might not think I can do it. But I'm getting used to sadness and I'm starting to lose all hope. Would you look at me the same if you knew all my scars, if you knew all my pain? It's not like I need to punish myself. It's just that one day the sight of my blood stop being terrifying and started being relieving. I may be better that this, but

I am weak
I am sad
I am hurt
I am lonely
I am depressed
I am lost
I am scared
I am a liar
I am selfish
I am screw up
I am frighten
I am in pain

Sometimes I wish someone would help me. Sometimes I wish I had somebody who would just take all this pain away and make me feel really happy, really safe, really strong. Someody who would never leave me alone like this again.
No. There is nobody.
Nobody could do that
Nobody could help me, not that there is somebody who would like to help me anyway.
But I wish there was.

"Sos muy dependiente" 

Just hearing that words in my head makes me want to.. to hurt myself. I fucking hate that.
Specially cause friends are not forever and every person I relied on upset me and left me alone.

I am the only person able to help myself.
I know but I'm just not able to, not at all.

But I still do this to myself
I write because nobody listens.
Plus nobody cares.

And I legimately wish that
the thoughts from my head would
Shut. the Fuck. Up.